Proud Mom

Nathan had to write a "passion poem" for his honors english class. He brought it home to show me. His teacher gave him 15 points out of 10 possible. Her comments written on the poem were this: "Can I have a copy? Powerful imagery and message! Great job! Wonderful!"

So as a mom- of course I have to share his poem.


Never stopping;
Moving;
Flowing forever in an eternal cycle.
Water, ice, rain;
The beginning of life.
Bringing joy and pain.
Sleet, hail, snow.
Falling;
Rising to bring life to the world.
Oceans, lakes, streams;
Glaciers, frost;
Water.

~By Nathan McDonald

"Dirty" Little Secrets

So- I am airing out my "dirty" little secrets- all of the clutter in my house! I have been making a "spring cleaning" list in the back of my mind. It seems to be getting longer and more overwhelming the more I look around my house.

How does THIS happen??



This is the top drawer of our TV stand in the front room. It is crammed so full of books that I swear one of these times it's going to break when opened because it is so heavy. And I know I've cleaned it out a million times...



Below is my kitchen closet/pantry. The mess and disorganization of it is all consuming.
"Just shut the door and walk away..."


Here is below my bathroom sink. Open doors and throw it in. I'm sure there's some body sprays and half used lotions and soaps buried in there from Y2K.

Aahh...the neverending ironing pile. Some day I will get all those clothes ironed. Problem is- then I have to find room to hang them in my closet.

Speaking of closets....this is Logan's closet. I swear a Tazmanian Devil attacked it. I bought nice containers to sort out the different types of toys. At one time (about a year ago) it was nice and neat. Now there are legos, army guys, Happy Meal toys, crap, crap and more crap thrown everywhere. Once again...shut the door and walk away.

Now could anyone tell me how it is possible to find anything in this drawer? It's Claire's sock/tights/swimsuit drawer. Ugh- totally disgusting.

This is the cupboard I hate the most in my kitchen. If I need anything out of it- it's a 10 minute process because EVERYTHING falls out.

Now that I've gotten some of my clutter out in the open I'm sure that some of you are shaking your heads in disgust. (And I didn't even share a photo of our "junk drawer.") I wouldn't blame you- I shake my own head in disgust- and then I take a valium and turn on the TV. :-)

Question: Do any of you "spring clean" every year- if so, what do you do? Any time consuming tips and tips on how not to get overwhelmed? And if you don't- then please tell me so I don't feel so alone.

Go Figure...

It's been about 3 weeks I think since I started back on my anti-depressant. I am feeling so much better. I think they are really helping. And go figure this- one of the reasons I was depressed was because of my weight. But naturally wasn't going to do anything about it- that would take too much energy. Since I've been on my "happy pills" I have lost 7 pounds! (Which is only noticeable on the scale...) And I still haven't exercised (except for volleyball twice a week) and I still eat chocolate cake and cookies. I should've started on those pills a long time ago....

Important Life Questions

Driving home from school yesterday with Logan and Claire in the car...

Claire: "Mom, when will we see Grandpa Dee again?"
Me: "When Jesus comes again, but nobody knows when that will be. We will all be resurrected though."
Claire: "Then we will live forever?"
Me: "Yep, that's right.
Logan: "I wonder if there will be Star Wars videos and games? I sure hope so."
Me: "Hmm.. I don't know about that."
Logan: "Does Santa Claus die?"
Me: "Umm...probably."
Logan: "Well, then who would be Santa?"
Me: "I guess he just finds someone else to do it."
Logan: "No, I think he just lives forever because he wouldn't be able to find another magic man."

So my conclusion from this is that Santa Claus must be one of the 3 Nephites. :-)

Modern Day Seamstress

Tera Brown- just go ahead and skip reading this post....

Meet my new sewing machine....

Did you know that the Iron paired up with this:

can do AMAZING things! Need a patch put on a scout uniform? Need pants shortened? Need drapes brought up a bit? Viola! You can do it without a needle and thread! If I can do it- anyone can do it. The possibilities are endless. It has become my new best friend. :-)

Up Close and Personal

Today I started taking my anti-depressant again. I have been off of them for 6 months. It was very emotional for me to swallow that stupid little pill again. It's a symbol that something is wrong with me. I am a failure. I can't keep my emotions in tact and don't have high enough self esteem to feel better without the help of medication. It's admitting that I can't pretend to be normal on my own anymore- it's getting too difficult to mask. I can't put on the fake smile and seem to be happy. It's admitting that it's hard for me to be around people right now and to function in my every day responsibilities. It's admitting that I don't have the energy to take care of myself without help. It's admitting that my depression has been hurting my marriage because I close myself off to my husband and to others around me. It means that I need help to try and pick myself up and get the energy and will to work on myself as well as my communication and relationship with my husband. Taking that pill makes me feel weak. I want to be strong and happy again.

There. Got it off my chest. Feel scared, but better. Relieved.

Next Day Note: Now that I've read this and been thinking about it I just want to clarify that I don't have severe depression like some do. I can get out of bed every day and do what I need to do. I go through "bouts" of minor depression I suppose and periods where I can't control my swing of emotions. Sometimes I get anxiety and I seem to be tired a lot. I start to feel bad about myself- thus making it so I don't want to be around others. I just didn't want anyone to think that I'm "severe."

Confessions

Okay- so I was sick over the weekend and I admit it: I AM A WIMP! I was a total baby. My sinus headaches were bringing tears to my eyes. My back and sides were aching from all of the coughing. I could go from shivering to sweating within seconds it seemed. My stomach was nauseous and queezy. I laid in bed or on the couch the entire time taking boatloads of medicines. I was completely miserable. As I was soaking in the tub for about the 5th time I was thinking to myself "How did I ever make it through childbirth?? And more than once??" I was acting like a big baby.

I have always told my kids that moms just don't get sick days. Well, this mom took about 3 sick days. My sweet Spence was so awesome to come home early from work so I could crawl into my bed. He took care of kids and let me stay in bed for as long as I wanted to. He didn't complain at all. And my kids were so sweet to come in and be concerned for me. They would give me a kiss or rub my back or just simply take my hand and say "I love you mom." Those were the bright moments.

I still have coughing spells and can't breathe half the time and the other half I'm blowing my nose. Where does all that snot come from? For the most part I am feeling better and just pray that I won't get sick again for a long long time. I'd much rather take care of sick kids.

Thanks for letting my whine and complain and be a wuss!