I know most of you know that Spence's birthmom, Debbie, passed away 2 weeks ago- August 25th. She found him when he was about 21 years old. They have kept in touch since and had multiple visits. She has been in our lives since we married and she loved her grandkids. Spence was her only child. I tried to include her as much as I could in our lives by sending photos and home videos. It was mostly a friendship relationship. She definitely spoiled me and my kids! I will miss going to the mailbox and finding boxes from QVC in there. (Her ultimate favorite place to shop.) And I'm sure my kids will miss her a lot this Christmas. :-)
Spence and I went out to San Fransisco for the funeral. We hung out with Spence's "other" family. Debbie had a twin sister and one brother. It was fun to get to know them and their families better. The family is Jewish so the funeral was a new experience for me. So different from the Mormon funerals! It was just held at the cemetery- only about 30 people there. The Rabbi said a few things from Psalms and some Jewish prayers. Then at the gravesite everyone says a Jewish Kaddish prayer. They put the casket in the ground and everyone takes a shovel of dirt and throws it on the casket. So strange- it made me feel like we were disgracing her or something.
It is Jewish tradition to light a candle and keep it lit for 7 days to remember the person who passed away. We lit this with the kids and put the Kaddish prayer translation next to it in honor of Debbie. And guess what- my house is still standing after the entire week of having it lit! Then on the anniversaries of a death you light a candle of rememberance also.
Whenever we return home from seeing Debbie or her family Spence always gives his mom a big hug and thanks her for adopting him. He would have turned out soooo different if Debbie would have made the decision not to give him up for adoption. I am also so thankful for her decision so that I would have the opportunity to have him in my life. I am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies and how things work out and are meant to be.
Spence and his cousin, Nina, who lives in Idaho
Spence and his great Uncle Bert. He was the first one that Spence met from the family.
Some of the family- Debbie's twin is far left, and brother is far right
This is a photo I found in Debbie's wallet. I think it was when Spence and her first met- so about 25 years ago.
4 comments:
I was so sad to hear about that! And that picture in her wallet....makes me want to cry that she carried it with her! Spence looks mighty fine in that pic! :)
Sending love to your family. I know what you mean about the Lord's tender mercies and being meant to be. So cool how things work out! :)
We were so sorry to hear about her death. I know what you mean about different types of funerals. The more I go to, the more I really like the "Mormon" Funeral. It just seems so much more personal and more of a celebration of the gift of life. Give our best to Spence. That is so sweet about the picture in her wallet. But, I find it hard to believe that Spence is in his mid-forties. Really?!?! He seems much younger.
I was so sorry to hear that Spence lost his birth mother...I'm so glad she got to be a part of your lives...I have always been a little jealous of that...It makes me wonder if it is too late for me to find my birth mother...that picture is priceless!!!
Jen
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