Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Fall

Well, fall must officially be here because yesterday morning Spence actually turned on the heat in the house! Don't you just love that smell when the heat is turned on for the very first time? It means you get to wear sweaters and pants to cover up your body. Yahoo! Course, then by afternoon I'm stripping down and have the air conditioner turned on. Gotta love it! Whenever fall comes I am always reminded of the movie "You've Got Mail." (One of my all time favs.) I love that line at the beginning where Meg Ryan is talking about the smell of pencils with the change of the season.... Anyhow, I love when the weather gets colder. It means I get to drink hot chocolate before bed and get to turn on my electric blanket! My favorite! I love to climb into a nice warm bed. :-)

Anyhow, finally got some pictures downloaded onto the computer again. Since it crashed we lost all of our files and hundreds of pictures. *Note to Self- be sure to back up this time!* This is my kids latest craze......





They love to take a bunch of blankets, pillows, toys, whatever they can get their hands on and make a little fort on the back deck. It makes such a mess but it keeps them entertained. Course, I'm always the one that gets stuck cleaning it up. They take out snacks and sit under the table and munch away. I noticed their shoes.....

I asked why they filled them with leaves. Logan's reply: "So in case it rains they will stay dry and warm and comfy." Okay...whatever. They had raked the neighbors leaves across the street, piled them in a bucket, then came and dumped them in their "fort." Lovely.

Now to change the subject....I am excited for next week. My son that I adopted out- Ethan- is coming for a visit! Gayle (his mom) is going to be here for a nursing conference so decided to have Ethan come for a few days. I love that we have such an open relationship. Gayle is always so sweet to check with me to see if I'm okay with it. She always worries about my feelings. And I always worry about Ethan's feelings. I don't want him to feel out of place. I am excited to see him again and spend a few days with him. Logan absolutely loves Ethan. Logan and Claire just think he is a cousin, but I think their spirits are connected. Logan has only met him the one time last year but talks about him all the time. A few days ago Logan was drawing a house. He drew some people in the house. He showed me and it had 6 people. I asked why six when we only have five in our family. He said one of them was Ethan. I asked why he drew Ethan in there. He said "Cuz I like him."

But, I get a little nervous at what Ethan will think of me. I know that whenever we would go visit Spence's biological mom that we would always be so thankful when we got home that he was adopted because of the way he could've turned out if she raised him. I hope Ethan won't ever think that with me! LOL I pray that he will always feel my love for him and know and understand the reasons why I gave him to a new family. It was best for him. When I think back on that time in my life I realize how "lost" I was and how Satan had such a strong hold on me. It scares me to think of what could have happened if I hadn't been blessed with the spirit. I was so down at that time. I had actually considered abortion because I didn't know what to do. Satan was rationalizing everything- all my thoughts. I was even looking up places that would do it for me. I am so glad that I came to my senses. I look at the beautiful boy that Ethan is and how blessed he is. Did anyone read the Ensign article this month on abortion? The statistics were shocking to me- 40 million abortions performed per year! That is so unreal to me. I loved the article and the points it made about a woman's choice and how once you are pregnant, you are left with the consequence of that and how it's not only your choice now- you have a baby- a human being in you and you take away it's choice when you choose to abort. I wish more politicians thought that way. Click here to read it.

Okay, enough said. I know it was rambled, unorganized thoughts. Sorry!

2 comments:

Emily said...

First of all - I love the shoes! And how funny that they assume it will keep them dry. Too funny.

That is really exciting about Ethan. Logan must have a very sensitive spirit to be able to feel things so deeply. I did read the article on abortion. Whenever I get the Ensign, I flip through to see which articles jump out at me. I was pretty surprised at the topic because the church usually steers clear from controversial subjects in the Ensign. They usually just issue a statement. I thought the article was very well written, and I have always said that I was Pro-Choice & Pro-Life (just in a different way that it is used politically). Women just make that choice BEFORE abortion is even an option. I also liked the way he talked about consequences, and the fact that regardless of our decisions, we are never free of the consequences.

A friend of mine from New York got an abortion, and I can assure you that there is a consequence - just different than the consequence of a baby. My friend was raised in a very strict, Catholic home. She had been dating this man for several years, and "sneaking" the physical relationship behind her parents back (she was in her 30s at this point). They finally got married and took a big, fancy honeymoon. They decided not to bother with birth control on their honeymoon because they wanted it to be carefree. She got pregnant and decided to get an abortion because she knew they weren't ready to have children and she thought that her husband would leave her (which he very well may have as he was not in the best place himself at the time). It haunts her. The abortion itself was very traumatic, and it consumed her thoughts for a very long time. I don't know why the politicians and Pro-Choice advocates don't talk about those consequences.

Anyway...I love you, Jackie. Thank you for being so open and honest. While I have never been in your situation, I can look back on my life and definitely see times where the wrong sort of spirit was guiding my actions. I am also a huge advocate of adoption. I'm sure that Ethan loves you and loves his mother that is raising him. You are such an amazing mother, and you have such a warm, inviting home (with the coolest Halloween decorations on the block)! If it's any consolation, my kids would LOVE to be adopted by you. :)

Laura said...

Jackie, I think you are an amazing woman and an amazing mom. I am thankful to know you and have you as a friend and neighbor. You are loving and giving and so welcoming. Your house is the neighborhood hang out. Thanks for that by the way. :)

I have no doubt that your relationship with Ethan will always be wonderful because of the person you are. You made it through an amazingly hard trial and look at you now. With the statistics you quoted it seems not as many people make it through so well. I will have to read the Ensign article. It sound like a good one.