Do you ever feel like you are possessed and a mad woman? Like all of a sudden you are just overcome with craziness? I swear I was a screaming lunatic to my kids tonight. I had just reached my boiling point I guess and just exploded. I just ran out of patience. I hate it when I do that. A mom can only take so much bossing around from her kids. I get so tired of being told what to do. Whatever happened to the word "please?" Sometimes I feel like a slave that is being pulled a million directions. Everyone wants something and they want it now. Then when I ask them to do something- it's when they want to, or not at all. It gets so frustrating.
Claire has really been testing me lately. Some days I just want to lock her in her room and keep her there all day. She is so bull headed though that she won't stay. When she's in there for time out I have to literally hold the door shut. When she finally gives in, she'll lay down and look underneath the door to see if I'm still standing there. Sometimes when she throws a fit in the store I just look at her and walk away. Most kids would come running after their mom. Oh no- not Claire. She just stands there and won't follow me. Naturally I get worried and can't leave her standing there so what good does it do? She will hit or kick me when she's mad at me. I feel like I have no control over that child. I am praying this is just a stage and not a glimpse of what is to come.
After I yell and scream, the kids start yelling and screaming back. What a glorious sound that is. Everyone gets upset. Logan starts to cry because his feelings got hurt. He is so sensitive. I did however apologize to each of the kids individually and try to explain myself and what gets me to that point. I always feel so guilty afterwards and like I'm a failure. At times I just want to crawl in bed under the covers and just vegetate. I don't know what that would solve, but it might make me feel better....Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks for letting me vent.
Just found this quote: “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
3 comments:
Oh Jackie, I'm sorry you had such a bad day. We have days like that too. I feel like a possessed woman often. My kids sure know how to push my buttons and it feels like they do it all the time. Heather spilled some milk the other day and I asked her to clean it up. As she was cleaning it up she said to me, "Boy, do I feel like the maid of the house." For some reason that just made me so mad and I went off on a tirade. Anyway, I'm just trying to say that I think I understand a little. The kids and I have made a deal to not be so mad at each other and most days we remember. Thanks for the quote at the end. I will keep that one where I can read it often.
PS...It sounds like we always yell here, but we really don't. :)
I need to memorize your quote. I'm afraid your day sounds like mine everyday. I did evenually take my bedroom door lock off and put it on Calvin's room door backwards so I could lock him in for his time outs. Sounds so mean but it was really for his safety more than anything else. I still let him out at his time frame. I finally decided to do it after "I" kicked a hole in his door from the outside. I felt like a complete idiot. Good luck, I hope that you have a much better day today!!
I especially love it when I scream, at the top of my lungs, "Stop yelling! Speak nice to each other!" Sometimes, I seriously feel possessed. Sorry you had such a bad day.
Post a Comment